In the chaotic streets of Mukherjee Nagar (Delhi) or the silent libraries of Patna, there is a heavy atmosphere. It is the weight of expectations.
Competitive exam preparation is often glorified as a journey of “discipline and grit.” But for lakhs of aspirants targeting SSC, UPSC, Railways, and Bank exams, the reality is far darker. Behind the closed doors of a PG room, many students are fighting a silent battle with depression, the guilt of unemployment, and the terrifying question: “What if I fail again?”
This article is not about “how to study.” It is about how to survive the mental toll of this journey. If you feel like you are losing yourself in the race for a government job, this is for you.
1. The “Gap Year” Trauma: Dealing with the Stigma:
In India, a “Gap Year” isn’t viewed as a sabbatical; it is viewed as a failure.
When you spend 3 to 5 years preparing, you aren’t just losing time; you feel like you are losing social status.
- The Society’s View: “He is wasting his youth.”
- The Reality: You are engaging in intense intellectual labor. You are building resilience.
🛑 The Trap: The “Sunk Cost Fallacy.” You feel you cannot quit because you have already invested 3 years. So you invest a 4th year out of fear, not hope.
✔ How to Handle It: Stop calling it a “Gap.” Call it a “Preparation Phase.” When relatives ask, “Aur kab tak?” (How much longer?), have a standard, polite script: “I am giving it my best shot for this specific cycle. I have a timeline.” Do not engage further. Your journey is not a public debate.
2. The “Unemployed” Guilt:
This is the sharpest pain. asking your father for ₹500 for a form fee at the age of 26 feels humiliating.
The Psychological Impact:
- You stop buying clothes or going out to save money.
- You feel like a burden on your family.
- You subconsciously sabotage your exam because the pressure to “earn immediately” causes anxiety during the paper.
✔ The Fix: Micro-Financial Independence It is okay to work part-time. In fact, for many, it is necessary for mental sanity.
- Tuitions: 1-2 hours of teaching kids can pay for your recharge and form fees.
- Freelancing: Content writing, typing, or data entry.
- The Effect: Earning even ₹3,000 a month restores your dignity. It reminds you that you are capable of earning, which reduces exam anxiety.
The “Comparison” Virus:
Your school friend just posted photos of his promotion and a trip to Goa. You are in the same room, wearing the same t-shirt, solving the same Percentage chapter.
The Reality Check: Social media is a highlight reel. You are comparing your “Behind-the-Scenes” struggle with someone else’s “Movie Trailer.”
- Private Sector: Fast growth, but high instability and stress.
- Government Sector: Slow entry, but high stability later. You chose a different path. You cannot judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.
Signs You Are Burning Out:
Many students confuse depression with laziness. They scold themselves: “I am wasting time, I am useless.”
Check these symptoms:
- Numbness: You stare at the book but read nothing for hours.
- Sleep Disruption: Either sleeping 12 hours or unable to sleep at all.
- Social Withdrawal: You ignore calls from friends because you have “no new news” to share.
- Physical Pain: Unexplained backaches, constant headaches, or acidity.
If this is you, you are not lazy. You are emotionally exhausted.
Practical Steps to Protect Your Sanity
A. The “Plan B” is Not a Weakness
Toppers often say “Focus only on Plan A.” That is survivor bias. For 99% of students, having a Plan B (backup option) reduces the fear of failure.
- Action: Give yourself a deadline (e.g., “I will try till 2026”). If it doesn’t happen, decide what you will do next (MBA, B.Ed, Private Job, Skill Course).
- Result: Once the brain knows there is a safety net, the panic attacks decrease.
B. The “Non-Negotiable” Hour
Depression thrives in isolation. You must have 1 hour daily where the words “Exam,” “Cutoff,” and “Syllabus” are banned.
- Go for a run.
- Cook a meal.
- Listen to music.
- Talk to a friend who is NOT preparing for exams.
C. Stop Glorifying Suffering
Studying 16 hours does not make you a hero; it makes you a patient. The brain needs rest to consolidate memory. If you don’t sleep, you don’t remember.
- Rule: 7 Hours of sleep is part of the syllabus.
When to Seek Professional Help
If you feel hopeless, if you cry without reason, or if you have thoughts of harming yourself—this is a medical emergency, not a “motivation” issue.
Helplines (India):
- Kiran (Govt of India): 1800-599-0019
- Tele-MANAS: 14416
- iCall (TISS): 9152987821
There is no shame in visiting a psychologist. Just as you go to a doctor for a fever, you go to a therapist for anxiety.
Final Message: You Are More Than Your Rank
Years later, when you look back at this phase, you won’t remember the cutoff marks of 2025. You will remember the resilience you built.
- You are not a failure because you haven’t cleared an exam yet.
- You are not a burden because you are studying.
- You are a warrior fighting a very hard battle.
One exam cannot define your worth. Your life is big, beautiful, and full of possibilities beyond this paper.
Take a deep breath. Drink some water. You are going to be okay.
